[physik] You have the right of choice! Do it now!

[Trudy Dougherty]

me 1982
did anyone else sustain life with saltines from the ages of 13-17
let me preface this by saying that there is no one size fits all eating plan for someone with hormonal issues for some women cysts irregular cycles lack of ovulation and too much testosterone and its effects are directly related to bad insulin regulation in their body for these women they may be able to restore better regularity with avoiding blood sugar spikes by not eating carbohydrates therefore eliminating the insulin problem that is why so many women can conceive with metformin or glucophage because these medicines work at that level 

my problem dear anne is that it is 2009 kids dont like to get all fussied up anymore and i dont think they would go to the trouble of making up stories about lost broaches to be able to go to a silly church picnic in my mind the little girls are wearing spring dresses and holding parasols with their gloved hands while the boys are eating biscuits and drinking homemade rootbeer with their hats and suspenders on but i live in a dreamland where i want everything stylized i know you understand me anne
ok its hard to stop i love every song

isnt life surprising i was laying awake thinking last night about how different my life has gone then what i thought (in a good way) 
we lived on a corner in a typical oc tract neighborhood 

i had a really tumultuous teenager-hood i was a happy and smart little kid it was surprising when so much angst welled up inside me  owl
i went to the fabric store tonight in search of prints to make some new spring scarves with some will probably end up in the shop too i just love this look also i love toast (the catalog and the cooked bread)

it transported me back in time to simpler sunnier days and its been making really happy to stare at today
but we feel more blessed and amazed than ever at lifes unexpected twists and turns and how happy we are that there is a loving heavenly father that understands the little picture we have in our minds for our lives and gently and lovingly helps us change our vision to a masterpiece i really love life 

valentines day preparations
messes are piling up around me making it hard to relax and get well i cant cuddle grant or cate- they need to stay well- so they are steering clear of me i am bored and tired and achy

but i couldnt stop looking at the picture because it shows the place where i played for the first 12 years of my life 
one of my resolutions for 2009 was to stop ignoring the etsy shop and to not spin my wheels all day (these two problems are very related) i am the queen of walking in circles around the house and not really getting anything accomplished i wouldnt care except for that it drives me nuts part of the problem is my insomniatic nights which leave me only half there during the day times ( which then leads to high caffeine consumption) so i decided step one is to get good nights sleeps i am trying to change my night time routine to a peaceful herbal tea quiet inspiration seeking few hours it helps if i keep our room clean and the sheets freshly washed and calming reading more- tv less- at night is a goal then hopefully my days will be a little more with it because i hate wasting time

me um we didnt have disney games when i was five
i will i will i will please hold me accountable if you dont see the results posted next week the inspiration pieces

ready to share the love
let me explain Buoy

i know some people dont love the whole valentines thing but it is so fun to me i dont care if the greeting card company made it up- any day where i get to be pretty treated with sweetness have a declicious dinner and some romance is right on in my book
im loving babies & mamas sunshine happy rooms and cool colors

all day the kids hung out at that corner played on that grass got drinks out of that hose went through the secret passage way in the juniper bushes and only left the area to go around the block over and over again sometimes it was on bikes with banana seats sometimes roller skates sometimes big wheels sometimes walking even occasionally on skateboards with cardboard boxes on them (our cars) 
secondly i must say i know carbohydrates arent bad i know bread is life and wheat is the staff of life a lot of fruits and veggies are quite sugary/ starchy for almost everyone eating all these foods in moderation will do them fine but remember i am trying to regulate an abnormality to a diabetic sugar is the devil to someone with celiac disease wheat is the devil to someone with milk allergies dairy is the devel and what ive come to believe that for some women who dont ovulate high blood sugar may be their devil and it definately is mine

a few months in the life of this infertile girl
im just obsessed with him 

and i cheat like alot well usually i ease up on weekends but i feel so crappy and bloated again that i cant wait to start eating right on monday but i have kind of had to tell myself this is just the new lifestyle and if i want to indulge every now and again im going to cause id rather die than not be able to have some chips and guac or a slice of cake every now and again so if i eat like this 90% of the time then ive noticed that my body or the scale doesnt mind if i wander in my choices a bit the other 10% exercising everyday helps with this too i feel like its a great trade off- feeling great and a regular period for a little self control
it makes me too happy drawers full of yarn too glorious


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